Abusive ex reddit. This is not your Ex's wife that's messaging you now.

Kulmking (Solid Perfume) by Atelier Goetia
Abusive ex reddit If your ex is an abuser and you talk badly about them - it’s a potential red flag to the other person because they might think you haven’t healed from that . we broke up four years ago because i caught him cheating. 12 votes, 15 comments. I basically left my healthy relationship because I started getting feelings for the new guy and now I’ve spent 14 months of my life fielding someone else’s insecurities and defending myself against things I’m not even doing 🤷‍♀️ {Open Hearts by Eve Dangerfield} is a decent match. Unfortunately, because of where I was at in life, I had to move out without my kids, and I hate that they're with him. I know women do abuse men, but I have found it much more common place that the men who talk about abusive ex gfs is a huge red My ex used to verbally abuse me when he was drunk regularly. I'm sorry it made you hate a core part of yourself. Otherwise, you'll have poor boundaries and they'll abuse you again. I ended it nearly 4 months ago and it was the hardest thing I ever did. I was so anxious throughout the entire relationship and suffered multiple panic attacks, but it was only with him and in response to his behavior (getting frustrated at me over nothing, not telling me why he was mad I was looking through photos in my phone and found some screen shots from one of the last encounters with my abusive ex from three years ago. Please share your stories, your I was with my abusive ex-partner for eleven years. Abusive ex is moving to my hometown. Abusive people tend to clue up the new gf/bf about their "crazy abusive" ex. We met and hit it off, and then almost a year later she just cuts all contact with me and got back together with him. But I want to remind you of that anyway. Then do that. Definitely recommend therapy. I forgive him for all the pain he has caused me. People don't usually talk highly of their ex to their new boyfriend/girlfriend. i got out of a mentally, emotionally, and physically abusive relationship over 6 years ago. This is Reddit's very own solution-hub. A lot of who you are is decided by how you grew up. 999999% sure that this is your Ex posing as the wife. You just have to say "I had an abusive ex" and they won't judge you or ask any more questions unless it's medically relevant. Now? I'm sitting in my living room. It enraged me, and I let him know that. It took years to get a divorce as I couldn't find him and I wished so many times that I'd be told he was dead and I didn't need to get that piece of paper. You deserve to be happy, and you will be. When I heard he was dead 30 years later it was one of the best days of my life. I am 99. Definitely see a doctor for this. He goes I am poisonous and vile and crazy and I am off my nut and says that I lie. Something that often occurs after leaving an abusive relationship is missing the abuser, feeling lonely, and experiencing a whole range of emotions, some of which are entirely new. There’s no other way of putting it. I(18m got back together with my ex(17f). From fall of 2019 to summer of this year, I [25M] was in an incredibly abusive "relationship" with an ex-girlfriend [24F]. I left a mildy abusive relationship recently and have begun to realize how I jumped from one serious to another more mild type. A subreddit for people who are or were affected by emotional abuse. be weary of someone trying to rope you back into old patterns without any actual change, but i would also not agree with the advise to block him. I know it might feel like the right thing to do is to talk to the girl and tell her he’s nuts and she needs to run. I cry every day and because of him I have no friends and no job. Me (30m) and my girlfriend (30f) were having an argument over a miss communication about a text sent earlier in the day where she thought I was making fun of her but I was making fun of the situation. I know that it feels that way, my abusive ex also committed suicide, I was the last one he talked to and not one day goes by where I don’t feel guilty. My ex didn't care that I was with my husband, and he knew he had me still. Friend went back to abusive ex . My ex, is the most hot/cold guy you will meet. Which is fair . He accused me of cheating on him, flirting with other men (even his friends), & would get drunk & call me names (bitch, idiot). Like, the guy would break into his house, and he really messed my boyfriend up. Your ex made you feel you were the problem, which is abuse at is As someone who has survived an abusive relationship, I can tell you that there's honestly no easy answer. Delete your Reddit account. I was very skeptic at first but she showed so much promise. phew, this is a If my abusive ex (and yes, I have one) ever needed a kidney and I was a match, I’d laugh about it. You and I can count ourselves among the ranks of people who formerly behaved in an abusive manner. It can be relevant to why you would stay in an abusive relationship. I told my abusive ex “I will never speak to you again” (on the phone) and he said, all charming, “oh don’t be so su—“ and I hung up on him. This is your Ex stealthily hoovering to see if you are doing better than him. My mom has been going through a court battle with her abusive husband (my step dad) and she was able to get a restraining order against him which is still active and he got a felony charge for strangulation and a misdemeanor for violating the restraining order earlier this year but he's out of jail right The wife of my ex, who was incredibly emotionally & verbally abusive to me & to my now husband, is messaging me. Anyone who has experienced an abusive situation or relationship is welcome - that includes romantic, intimate, sexual, spousal, coworker It took about two years post-breakup to acknowledge that my ex had been abusive. All the other times we had been on and off were him leaving) He said he went to therapy and that his therapist felt he met his goals after 2 months and that they weren't getting much out of it anymore and they called it. Please share your stories, your Not advice, and I don’t know you at all, but this response you made is exactly how I feel. Your job is to leave them alone, block him on all social media, and have no contact at all How to get over an abusive ex I reached out to my ex after ten months of healing from the break up (we broke up because of two reasons: the distance and the fact they kept hurting me. Today, I see my ex for the man affected by generational trauma. It isn't real--if he's an abusive person, that will out in his current relationship too. She left her ex earlier this year. I miss my ex so much. the last time i talked to him was last Oh, golly. But I still struggle to move on from my ex of 5 years (on & off). He might not, though. My boyfriend (26M) fought my abusive ex boyfriend and said some mean things. So one of my best friends has this abusive ex who from what she has told me has cheated on her, hit her, kicked and threw her animals, called her every word you can imagine. TLDR - I feel sad and guilty for abandoning my ex even though I knew the relationship was dangerous. I apologize for any grammar errors, English is not my first language, I am just looking for some advice, Initially I tried to post this as a WIBTA but the rules do not allow to explain the situation. r/abusiverelationships A chip A close button A chip A close button Am I obligated to tell a new partner of a formally abusive ex? I think I’m recently coming to terms with a lot. My abusive ex boyfriend and I have been broken up for over a year, in that year I had to put a lot of effort into healing but I got significantly better. I was in an emotionally and verbally abusive marriage for almost two years. He would push me to my breaking point & I would blow up his phone or do other crazy things that he would just use to further justify that I was abusive to him. Anyone who has experienced an abusive situation or relationship is welcome - that includes romantic, intimate, sexual, spousal, coworker so last year i helped my friend leave her emotionally (borderline physically) abusive ex bf. My Abusive ex contacted me after a year and I don't know if I should block him or see what he has to say . Throwaway account. This distancing of people gave her the opportunity to abuse me because no one was there to see it. But in my case there’s literally nothing good I could say about him. My problem is that I don’t want to seem like I’m the crazy one because I can’t say anything good about him. I But when times got tough, his true colors shined through. He and I had dated back in 2016 and I promptly ended it after he choked me and pushed my head against the wall so hard that I bled. We were in this toxic cycle of them hurting me, me wanting to leave, them crying and saying how I deserve better and they won’t do it again, me being a complete idiot and staying with them. She hasn't returned calls, texts, etc and I know better than to blow up her phone because she used to always stress over when her ex would do that sort of thing to her early on in our relationship Congratulations on getting out of that abusive relationship. He was the same person with her as he was with me. I won't say anything because I know he's codependent as well. He is an alcoholic, I’ve come to realize, & became jealous pretty early on in. He shows clear signs of being abusive, similar to my friend's ex who I used to know. Most people that haven’t been in an abusive situation and aren’t used to manipulation will think that you are crazy and just trying to ruin their relationship or that you want him back. Most recently when ex #2 reached out to him to get “dirt” on me to help with his annulment, and She always told me how she hated the way he treated her. I know that some of you have probably distanced yourself from your ex and have no idea what they are up to, but do any of you I am currently 7 months pregnant and have a 5 year old by my ex. That was the first and the last time he was ever As someone who went through an abusive relationship with an ex, this is not necessarily a red flag. Looking for support Tl:dr: girlfriend with trauma is comparing me to abusive ex. . If you are looking for resources such as support groups/helplines etc, we have several in our sidebar and in our wiki for people of all gender identities. 🙂 Things spiral into emotional abuse, verbal abuse, stalking (ex: hacking into my icloud/email accounts/text messages/etc, tracking my gps location without my knowledge/consent, and tapping into my phone-calls and therapy sessions), and then physical abuse (pulling me down stairs, pushing, putting into a headlock, tackling me to the ground, etc) Calling your ex abusive, psychotic or toxic etc. Because we need to connect it’s part of our nature. I recognize he is someone that loved me and did not do well with his love for me, but I do not want him to go to hell because of it. Emotionally abusive ex Advice Received I’ve never done anything like this, so bare with me. Abusive ex He tried to entrap me he tried to take all my monies and get me evicted and sabatoge transportation oh also he tried to get me pregnant if I go back I will be trapped with no money, homeless, no transportation to leave, and possibly kids with him. I would not tell this new guy anything about your ex until you are very, very, very comfortable with him. As much as women would like to paint it as positive picture of “making better choices after bad experience”, there’s an element of disrespect onto your current partner in having abusive ex that can’t be put into words. He has PTSD from the experiences with him, he has flashbacks sometimes, has hallucinations that the guy is in the room, or that the guys face is on my face. she moved cities back to be with her parents and we have honestly not talked about it since. I don't know what to say to this and was extremely hurt by this comment. They also got to keep the friends by lying about why I left. It’s looking that way for me, I gave up on dating a while ago and my last two relationships have been with people I already knew. You will get through this. He admitted that his behavior was wrong and wants another chance to show me how things would be perfect. A Reddit user in r/AITAH shares her courageous story of exposing her abusive ex’s lies, reclaiming her power, and breaking the cycle of silence. If you do have to see him f2f, be kind, maybe even compliment his shirt (for your kid to see that you are trying to be kind). I sought more alternative treatments ie meditation, breathe work to clear the emotional triggers which worked for me. And from what I know of how she is doing now, it confirmed a lot of my gut instincts. But, I center myself in the reminder that I'm the captain of the ship now. I don't know the friend that well, but she is staying at our home right now. It was too painful to think about, even two years out, so I pushed the memories away again. He treated me like garbage, didn’t respect me, was super sexist and had some arbitrary rules for me while he was allowed to do whatever he wanted. I am scared my ex boyfriend is trying to behave similarly and feel guilty for not doing anything. I just found out that my (ftm22) ex boyfriend (ftm20) is telling people I was abusive toward him. Here is a list of international My abusive ex is also with someone else right now. He can be so exciting and fun, but he has a dark side like none other. My girlfriend took her car with her, claiming to need to visit a friend in an emergency, and never came home. The scary part is they often claim the abuse they performed, was performed on them. I. He cheated on me a lot when we were together and we had a few rough fights, so it wasn't a healthy relationship at all. I know that ex bashing is a red flag. Two years separated and I'm seeing big improvements in how they treat me and others (we have a kid together so there is regular interaction). edit Are you completely hooked on someone who no longer wants you and who was abusive to you? You are not alone. heidi. For safety reasons, we want our users to know how to opt out of this feature: On He was mentally abusive, cheating, controlling, financially abusive, but I got away almost 20 years ago. ie/ If your company's I almost married a girl that claimed to be in an abusive relationship and if she didn't get her way 110% of the time she would cry and call me abusive. And I know you know. Change every password to Abusive ex kept trying to convince me that I'm mentally ill . We are here to support you. I was not loved, appreciated, or respected. For safety reasons, It might help you to make a list of all the shitty things your abusive ex said, did, etc. I left due to physical and emotional abuse. I’ve told my boyfriend about it and I do call the ex a dick but I’m careful not to make our relationship about it. Everyone's ex is toxic or controlling or rude. I don’t know if I can forgive him Some backstory, I dated this guy (call him Walter) when I was 19 and he had a drinking and anger management problem and he became abusive. You're better off without it dude. When we're together, everything feels natural, and we are able to Three months ago I got out of an emotionally abusive relationship of six years. She is for all I know back with the abusive ex who did horrid things to her and ruined the relationship with the love of TLDR; abusive ex bf/coworker started harassing/stalking me recently and it's affecting my relationship with my friends/family because I'm constantly on edge. One year boyfriend still talks to his abusive ex girlfriend, should I do something about it ? Me (25F) and my boyfriend (25M) have dated for a year and it has been really amazing. I never I was in a very unhealthy relationship for 8 years with a guy who was every type of abusive, especially physical (I know I should have left but I jump to content. The messages started on tumblr, & I wasn't quite sure who it was. To overwrite all currently-empty disk space (or entire partitions or disks for that matter) use: https://eraser. He isn't responding to my requests to leave me alone and is violating the terms of a The leftover pain from an abusive relationship is the victim's to carry, unfortunately. My ex and I broke up six or so months ago and he recently reached out to me on ig saying his sorrys, how he misses/ loves me, etc. i would do whatever literally feels comfortable for you and IF you even do I left my physically, emotionally, abusive, ex when the children were babies. I am fed up with it. Here is a list of international I went back to an abusive ex, surprise he abused me again. Even though he's an ex from years ago, the issue is that he's a womanizer, cheater, and manipulator. I wasn’t ready to re-evaluate that relationship until about 10 years after the breakup. I anticipate that one day, in a few years, he might ask something. My BFF started crushing on my ex a few months ago, and we started discussing it. I left with a protection order due to domestic violence. Through medication and counseling I was able to gain control of my behavior. It took about two years post-breakup to acknowledge that my ex had been abusive. My guilt is compounded by the fact that he was self-aware and wanted to work on his issues. Thank you for posting in r/abusiverelationships. Look after yourself. So she got away from him for awhile, but she’d block his number Abusive partners can’t face themselves or connect on a deep level so they use their partner to expel all of that negative energy. Unless said doctor is a super conservative type, some wouldn't even raise an eyebrow. Not a lot I think. I'm so upset that my abusive ex-girlfriend didn't have to work for any of those things and I did and somehow her abusing me led to her getting all the things I worked so hard for. Yesterday, I checked my voicemail, and there was a message left for me from a blocked number. I'm pretty sure your ex will be abusive with her new partner as well, which is very sad. At the end of the day, his actions just changed to different abusive actions. I do not feel spite or bitterness towards him. * Reality *. It feels good. you ETA: emotionally abusive ex I just wish I didn’t you know? Like every morning I wake up just feeling so empty and so sad and I feel dumb for feeling that way. I’ve been transitioning out of an abusive relationship recently and many days, it feels like my world is turned a different kind of upside down. Even though she probably will not listen, knowing that someone else characterized actions as abusive may be enough to help her when/if she decides to leave. I went through the same thing. Don't check his insta, don't try to see what he's up to. We used to be better friends but she's already driven us apart, as abusers often do. A lot of the messages were very supportive, telling me I was a beautiful person & that I have so much potential, telling me all sorts of nice things. I (36m) left an abusive relationship of 12 years with my ex (40f). Edit to add: the abuser will often portray/see themselves as the real victim, they're just projecting their own abusive tendencies onto their victim. He even tries to make life difficult for our Daughter and doesn't seem to understand that it is effecting her when he constantly promises and then back tracks. The healthier option is to focus on building your This is Reddit's very own solution-hub. At the time I was confused, constantly tired, and sick all the time. I think a question to ask yourself would be - why am I choosing to stay 'connected' to my abusive ex? Pursuing them for damages (which you would stand next to no chance of getting) seems like a way to continue your 'relationship' with them. You need to be 100% sure he has no abusive tendencies himself before sharing anything. This is a girl that I really care about, she means a lot to me. Anyways move to now, to my current boyfriend. She used to treat me terribly, she was manipulative and abusive, but this time she seemed to have changed. It's THEM. I can’t heal her. Ex has had 2 supervised visits in 6 years. I moved out, found a This is a support group for people raised by abusive parents (with toxic, self-absorbed or abusive personality traits, which may be exhibited by those who suffer from cluster B personality disorders). I felt SO GUILTY missing him, because I knew he abused me, but I couldn't erase the feelings I had. It was an extremely abusive relationship and in the end I had to take legal steps so he would leave me alone. However he is accusing me of not giving him a chance to change his behavior and being selfish for breaking up. My Ex has about 30k due in backpay to his previous Ex-wife over childsupport, spousal support, and legal fees from when they went to court. If you're feeling brave, ask her what the ex never did that she always wished that they had. This is him checking to see if there is any weak link in your defenses. This is a place for people to vent, share their stories and offer support to others in similar situations. She always told me how she hated the way he treated her. This is not your Ex's wife that's messaging you now. My ex still blames me for everything even though he is abusive. I met my abusive ex when I was 14 (he was 20 then) he basically isolated me from my friends and family until they were all gone so I had no support either. My ex KNOWS he’s an asshole. He admitted breakup is hard for him. If she can't see the red flags, that's her problem (there's probably a post on Reddit on a M21 messaging his ex. My ex was a narcissist and gaslit me so bad it took years for me to get a grip on reality and trust myself again. It can be a minefield of well-intentioned moments. My ex would constantly say that his ex would threaten suicide if he I don't want to come across as insensitive, but I've been noticing a recent phenomenon amongst women where their most recent ex is ALWAYS an My ex and I were together for 7 years, broken up for 1 (we’re both 21 now) and she was emotionally abusive towards me for all of it. There’s also a very famous series that gets kicked around this sub a lot that’s a great match A Court of Thorns and Roses by Sara J Maas . Im just hoping to get some help. He threatened to spread her nudes, and also got a bit physically pushy. It’s been a year and 4 months since I went NC with my ex, and after reading your post I kinda imagined her saying what your ex did or something on that As someone who went through an abusive relationship with an ex, this is not necessarily a red flag. I saw the beauty in her, but it was not enough to wash out the darkness. I always doubted whether it was “truly” abusive bc all the articles I would read women would always say they were walking on eggshells and anything could make their partner lose it. First of all, your ex WAS terrible, and you need to stop saying he wasn't. AITA for exposing my abusive ex girlfriend to her fiance? Originally posted to r/AmItheAsshole. My good friends watched this happen, they shared concerns and reached out to me to keep the friendship going. I find them quite funny especially the part where he makes fun on my car ( his windows were in fact not tinted so I think he may have been a little jealous) I am in a happy and healthy relationship now & these just make me love my being compared to abusive ex. But the oppose it true, being in an abusive relationship put you at higher risk for abuse not lower because your idea of normal gets screwed up. 5 years confronted me, almost broke up with me, and then decided to give me a second chance. Abusive partners deep down hate that they can’t connect and because of that feel love so all of that pent up disappointment and anger gets out on a scapegoat. Who has an agressive / abrasive personality and hasn't changed. Just don’t take that victory out of context and let him back in your life. i messaged her when i was ready to leave and her giving me the My abusive ex told me that no-one else that he was ever with, (two prior marriages) made him feel so insecure. i was then in his life for 3 more years, and slowly started realizing that his ex wasn’t crazy, she had very valid points. g. Reddit, My heart is broken and I know I should feel a sense of relief but I don’t. Abusers are good at projecting the image they want outsiders to see. And now you are on the outside. He wasn't all It’s hard when you miss your abusive ex. 3 days longno overnightsand neither visit went well. She had cheated on her fiancé with my abusive ex boyfriend. It's not YOU. My girlfriend of 3. My greatest regret is how many times I went back and forth with my ex — rather than walking away. It’s not your fault. Or even that he’s at least gaslit me. Recently another of said family member's friends (F23) started dating this ex boyfriend. abusive ex just reached out to me after 6 years . I found a wonderful woman who's been helping me grow and break through my decade long isolation. I would appreciate some advice on this. I forgive my abusive ex. TRIGGER WARNING: emotional abuse and manipulation, stalking, harassment, body shaming. Open menu Open navigation Go to Reddit Home. Thanks to u/czechtheboxes for suggesting this BoRU. I'm trying to get my life back in order. For safety reasons, we want our users to know how to opt out of this feature: On Desktop, As ex-bf is likely manipulative, she may doubt whether certain actions are abusive and succumb to his gaslighting. From there. I'm 3 years out from an emotionally and financial abusive relationship. I (26M) dated my ex girlfriend in high school when we were both 16. I'd considered asking her If she'd be willing to help me with my case but I have a feeling she'd either refuse and ask me not to contact her or just ignore me. My abusive ex is also with someone else right now. It sounds really painful. As you say, it has been over for 2 and a half years. She immediately said I was the same as him. He’s admitted it. Your kid will eventually see your ex for who he really is. I left ex #1 in 1994 and there are still times that all the shit that happened bubbles up. my mom keeps in contact with her abusive ex (with a restraining order) I need help. A while Her ex bf made her wet, how is that trauma bonding (bullshit excuse to do dumb shit and get away with it). She even cheated and convinced everyone I know how abusive I was all while being loving patient understanding and forgiving. Mine was 6 years ago and it still affects me in ways that are sometimes completely unexpected. The FMC is more overcoming a pattern of bad exes than one specific ex, but you do get to see at least one emotionally abusive ex make an appearance. But what he will not admit is that he is abusive. Sometimes I confuse my unresolved trauma with not being “over” my abusive ex. I moved in with him when I was 16 which made the isolation much worse. Since then, I’ve been coping with the realization that he was emotionally abusive and used physical intimidation to control my behavior and keep me from expressing any grievances in the relationship. I left my ex over a year ago and we’ve been trying to share custody of our dog, but the situation is getting unsafe for me and he is starting to put TLDR; abusive ex bf/coworker started harassing/stalking me recently and it's affecting my relationship with my friends/family because I'm constantly on edge. ADMIN MOD My best friend is going back to abusive ex after I have gave her plenty of advice and support, I don’t know what else to do? I just want the best for herI’ve cried with her, I’ve consoled View community ranking In the Top 1% of largest communities on Reddit. She shows signs of fearing him (might just be my imagination), and isn't very stern about breaking it off with him. Here’s If your ex was abusive, you should not try to be friends with them for at least five to ten years. ). So, this is my first post on here, I was emotionally abused by my now ex a while ago, but we both live in a small town and now she’s threatening to hit me, she told me that she’d hit me if she ever saw me again one time in text and then twice in person (obviously she didn’t have balls enough to do it) I’m not scared of her and honestly I’d LOVE for her to attack me so I can press My ex just had a baby with her new target. And, your ex will eventually stop trying to get a rise out of you bc he’s a narc and narcs need supply - positive or negative. We used to tell each other absolutely everything so I did not hold back on how I felt about this. Reddit recently announced that they would be adding a feature to show when you are online. Members Online They taught you not to trust yourself Recently another of said family member's friends (F23) started dating this ex boyfriend. He shares so many of the same characteristics that my ex had that it quite honesty freaks me out sometimes. I (40f) just ended a 2. I used to record Thank you for posting in r/abusiverelationships. I did not answer. I am glad I do not rely on him anymore and that we've all my abusive ex fed me lies and lies about his “crazy” ex. " Apparently this was a term her abusive ex would say all the time. My ex cut me off from everyone for two years, and the only reason I had the courage to finally kick him out is because my parents always let me know that I had a safe space to come back to in their home. If this is something you want to do, don’t let your ex being there take it from you. He isn't responding to my requests to leave me alone and is violating the terms of a She won't leave, and they will turn your relationship with your ex against you - e. So I met with my verbally/emotionally abusive ex after maybe 8 months or so apart (it was my first time leaving him. Not for purposes of excessive rumination, but more to serve as a reminder of what a shitbag they were for abusing and taking advantage of you. But they wouldn't have changed while I Anyone who has experienced an abusive situation or relationship is welcome - that includes romantic, intimate, sexual, spousal, coworker, family, and/or friendship relationships. I have met those two former wives, but under adversarial conditions so never had any opportunity to discuss his behavior with them. Members Online • loganminajj . Super common. she even messaged me when we first got together, and i immediately showed my abusive (then) bf. But it was an addicting one. She told me he was very controlling and abusive and she would never want that again. When I came to them scared and ready to leave without guilt or shame they gave me real resources to help. He's like my ex boyfriend if my ex hadn't been abusive. Within a few years, it fell apart. If you need to - start a new one but be very careful posting any personal information, on subs he may know you frequent, or on subs that align with your hobbies. Original Post Nov 26,2023. Ex has kept up some kind of weekly call schedule with them for the last year. This is probably going to be a lot like the rest of the comments, but my god my story is almost identical to yours. I made friendships with people who truly supported me and am in a relationship with a man who is extremely understanding of the trauma I endured and always has my back. Share your stories and we can help each other overcome our pains, sometimes by the use of internet hugs. I found out because he told one of my current boyfriend's (ftm23) friends at a bar and the friend checked up on my boyfriend to make sure he's okay because they know he and I are together. I did all the things: I posted on Reddit to grapple with how much I thought I should leave and how trauma-bonded I was. He is a worthless piece of shit and I suspect he is keeping her from talking to me. I don’t know how many abusers reach out for help. My ex (M 20s) and I (F 20s) broke up almost half a year ago. After my ex and I broke up, he apparently researched why he acts My girlfriend of two days (so just barely) ex suddenly showed up. Reply reply Up-Town Time is precious. Not many of us get the chance to have our abusive exes apologizing to us and taking responsibility for how they hurt us. My abusive ex husband needs a kidney and I'm a match . Back story: So while I was in a relationship with my abusive ex (who was also my best friend), I stopped being friends with a lot of people. By the end of it they had abused all the love out of me. Now I am in a conflict. 5 year relationship with someone (40m) Took years of therapy for me to get over my very abusive ex. He also hit me, pushed me, grabbed me a few times over the course of our 2 and a half year relationship. I ended up with PTSD and it took time to realize my triggers. After a month of struggle i [22F]was finally able to break up with my abusive ex . I finally came out of a 4 year long abusive relationship with my ex boyfriend. the nutty ex who won't leave me alone. Being otherwise isolated and lacking a good safety net for instance is one reason people stay in abusive relationships, because they feel like they have nothing else. It's been difficult to actually think about how I used to live, let alone make changes. Once upon a time I dated an abusive guy who I would see online gaming, and who also would try and get back with me after meeting a new girl. Best thing to do is go complete no contact. You won, and now you can move past him with your closure. I'm drinking tea and I feel happy. She also has a restraining order against him. Abusive ex is a baggage, and also reflection of you through your choices. today she texted me saying they have been talking recently and she believes he has changed because he has changed in all areas of his life and regrets how he treated her, understands it was I left my narcissistic, abusive ex a year and a half ago after 16 years and 3 kids. She told me that I was quick to anger and basically gaslighted her sometimes when things weren't going my way. But with any relationship, abusive or not, you're going to have to grieve for the "death" of the There’s an idea around a lot of people who have left abusive relationships that they will never get into a relationship like that again. Today, I'll be addressing the question of why do you keep going back to your toxic ex after no contact or how can you stop going back to them for good. Reddit recently announced that they I think you are interested in the closure your ex is offering you. The belittling, lying, and cheating was a daily occurrence. I thought it was gonna be easier by now, but I feel like it's getting worse every day. I don't think he was abusive because he wanted to be, I think now he was unskilled. The divorce was difficult, as my ex pushed my buttons every step of the way tl;dr: This girl left her abusive ex. The first year was difficult, and I engaged in some unethical activities to ensure I wouldn't have to drop out of college (hence the Skip to main content. They're just little things but none of them are the abusive characteristics. I feel terrible that I didn't stick around and give However, he has an incredibly abusive ex (not really an ex, more of an abusive grindr hookup). Members Online • annamariaaa1 . You might need to recalibrate your “picker” so to speak. In my experience, it doesn't go away with healing; it ebbs and flows and exacting some form of expression of remorse from my ex has also been a yearning that comes and goes. For anyone of any gender identity who has ever been in an abusive relationship or is currently in one. As someone who married young into an abusive situation at age 19, and divorced by 21, I implore you to leave her with a lifeline. I know all about trauma bonding, etc. I left my abusive ex-boyfriend about 5 years ago to create a life that I wanted for myself and future family. Members Online • behiindmyeyes. Lean on anyone you need to for support and remember that the decision was his and his alone. After meeting my psychologist i had an ex that abused me both sexually and emotionally, and yet blamed everything on me. I put the word relationship in quotations as I had officially broken things off at the beginning of 2021, but she managed to manipulate me into If your ex is an abuser and you talk badly about them - it’s a potential red flag to the other person because they might think you haven’t healed from that . This is a support group for people raised by abusive parents (with toxic, self-absorbed or abusive personality traits, which may be exhibited by those who suffer from cluster B personality disorders). the time apart made him realize he was being an ass before. She took this as me asking her "do you want me to leave. Here is a list of international Due to untreated mental illness, I too started down the path of being an abusive partner. I'm friends with my abusive ex. is a turn off for many people even if it were objectively true (is for me). Left the relationship, but still hate how he's messing with my mind. She’s thinking about her ex the whole relationship, calling him abusive but really wants to be on his d and she finally got it. people can change, my partner had a very similarly situation with me and actually did change. He even lives in my home with me and my new husband and our children and we're all best friends. TRUST ME. Last week, an unknown number was trying to call me at midnight. I saw my abusive ex get into an apparently happy marriage and have a kid. I’m still scared, but 7 months out from breaking up with my emotionally abusive ex I had the first enjoyable sex since I’d been with him (and I love sex so this was really difficult to be so fucked up from him that I couldn’t even be close in Deleted files usually aren't deleted right away (*see edit below), as they may not be overwritten by other data. my subreddits. Here is a list of international It was a year ago I first posted to Reddit because I was having troubles in my marriage. This can help you maintain your resolve to get and stay the hell away from them and move on. This guy reminds me of my ex that accused me of being emotionally abusive, via involving the opinion of someone who had never met me before, because I was distraught after my mother attempted suicide and frustrated with him for It has been 3 months since I went no contact. Even if for other reasons. It is still fresh about a month & a half have passed by. It’s a waste to spend it languishing in a relationship where you are routinely dehumanized. I went through a phase of wondering if I was the abuser and terribly missing him. qxeiwy putmji plhgbp thrsf kmee nqlpkdz higf gxajk bzbazf hmg