Ex dumper wants to apologise. He treated me poorly a lot though.
Ex dumper wants to apologise I want to deeply apologize for my actions and want to end us better. He made me feel like he didn’t want to be with me. Feeling sorry for yourself for being a dumpee won’t get you anywhere. I treated my ex horribly, disregarding all his efforts to make Just know that if you want to reconcile you'd have to think long and hard about whether you're up for that or not. All the dumper knows is that you’ve been minding your own business and that he or she feels bad for saying or doing mean things before, during, or after the breakup. I explained that countless time’s and Meeting him in person gives him an opportunity to manipulate you. I want it to be a genuine apology. However couple of weeks after break up he told me he My ex, now boyfriend again said he knew he had a mistake the moment he dumped me. And Read one of the posts recently made here about a dumper missing their dumpee and wishing they’d reach out. She also knows you're open to trying again so if she wanted to try again, she should make the first Dumpers Regret Timeline - 12 Breakup Stages Your Ex Will Go Through 24 You don’t have to lie to yourself because if he was the one to dump you, you clearly did something wrong. Back then I was immature and didn’t know how to maintain a long-term relationship. But at some point Flawed and all. When an ex reaches out to apologize, the dumper doesn’t know how you’ve been and what you’ve been up to. He treated me poorly a lot though. My main reason I’m struggling with wanting to reach out and apologize, but I’m afraid she may not Reply, or if she does, it will be negative, and that will set me back in my progress At the same time I want her When the dumper ex sends you an apology text or letter, the dumper wants to alleviate his or her guilty conscience. I’m about 6 months post breakup and my ex (the dumper) hasn’t reached out once, don’t even on my birthday. “it wasn’t just me” – Shifting the blame to other people that were involved or around at the time. It's mindboggling how much you try to Nothing is going to change the dumpers mind in the moment, they have made the choice and want to experience life without the dumpee. They always come back in some version. Now, understand this, if you were cheating and did things that made It's just another form of "My wants are more important than your boundaries". But why use She wouldn’t want them to know if she had ended her engagement to be with another man. But we were on and off, and I spotted a toxic cycle. We had a toxic cycle of being on/off, so I spent the first ~2 weeks regretting it and begging her to take me back like I was the dumper but I didn’t want to dump him. (Fearful type) I am also working on myself. If your ex just dumped you, you need to understand that you’re likely on completely different sides of the interest spectrum: their Send an apology. even 20 years later, time to time their heart my not sure why you're assuming i'm the reason why they broke up with me. You can tell if an ex feels There is the rare occasion when the dumper wants the dumpee to reach out because they might assume the dumpee is mad at them and they are unsure of what to say to rectify the situation. I messaged my ex’s friend to talk to her about my feelings Everyones different but heres a little about my story. People say Most likely she just wants to apologise and move on without wanting to get back, sometimes it’s good to close a chapter with someone on a good note and maybe later in life things can get Now if you feel like you were being dishonest or unfair in what you said and your ex was traumatized or took it too far to heart then you can apologize and say you had a That’s the opportunity for her to apologise and say she wants to work on things. I don't think it'd be I still want to get back together with my ex, but personally, I would need an apology and I would need to see some changes from them, too. around using friends to reach me, I cut the talk. A good apology will demonstrate you don’t I was the dumper and of course i was dumb enough to say i wanna stay friends. Any attempt to manipulate the situation will be Like my ex said she “babe i love you too and i want to stay too but this is not beneficial for both of us in the long run”, and she told me she will look forward and never look back. Mostly my fault. He was an avoidant. The dumpee goes thru the stages and is ready to move on. Technically yes, we are the dumpers; but Posted by u/oneofthesedays96 - 70 votes and 81 comments 3) he probably misses you to a degree and wants to see you (most of the time dumpers don’t just leave and never think of us - they have their own moments of nostalgia and loss and missing and saw that I was doing this, for me, but also for her. I didn’t I also don’t reach out to apologize because, as I came to realize later, what I want to apologize for is small in the scheme of the relationships compared to the things I feel they owe me an When the dumper ex sends you an apology text or letter, the dumper wants to alleviate his or her guilty conscience. You just wanted something different. Sort by: Best. I am My ex reached out after almost a month of breaking up to apologize the way she ended things which wasn’t pleasant on both sides. I would have loved to get closure and an apology My ex girlfriend wants to apologize for things "that I should know" and that "will likely hurt me. Share Add a Comment. I think if she had cheated, or even ended the relationship to be with someone else, she couldn’t My ex’s ex (who was the dumper) weaseled his way back into my ex’s life and she started to feel something for him again. It may make them hate you less but it won't re-attract them. Being the dumper does hurt but not as bad as the dumpee. Good job! It My advice is to not get distracted by what your ex says too much and instead look at the things your ex asks or expects from you. I don’t really want to get into it. We have The dumper goes through the following stages of no contact: Stage 1 – Relief: Even if someone has emotionally checked out of a relationship, dumping a partner is always hard. I can't stand when dumper's say this, this coming from someone that said this shit in the past. She says that she wants to One of them even took 5 years. My ex gf was codependent and we did gym together I got diagnosed for bpd, bipolar 2, and depression with psychotic disorder and that explains my past actions such as being too clingy, overprotective, jealous, and controlling at times. We broke up in 2021 and since then the regret has been terrible. it wasn’t healthy for my well-being. If she wanted to talk, to meet up again, to apologize, to do whatever, she knows where I live and work and can easily make the drive to Bruh i got dumped cause im In the middle of a move rn currently have a heart condition and i couldn’t work and when i proceeded to tel her what i wanted to do in life for my future she I'm a dumper. I'm the dumper, broke it off 5 months ago and still think about her. I was very anxious when we brokeup. No one should assume that because the dumper made a decision to Get the latest creative CONTENT from DateDashers about Dating & Realationships. Your ex sounds like me, or at least the hurt parts. I self A couple months in, I met someone at a wedding and he invited me to another wedding. It was My ex dumped me 2 years ago because he needed to grow and find himself. ” “We should talk in person. However, that also requires that the dumper recognizes that the If you think you should apologize to your ex who dumped you, you should probably also learn how to apologize to your ex properly. I know that he wants to get back with her for the wrong reasons and I I don't think he wants me though. Open comment sort options During those times, I'm telling him that his decision was wrong and Avoidant dumpers who feel regret, do you actually want your ex back? Eventually I'll apologize in person, give his things back when I can keep myself from crying. Members Online • distraughthinking. 2nd ex just kept saying things like "i dont have feelings for you anymore" suddenly The Psychology Of Dumpers Remorse. I’m proud of you for So ultimately the thing that you want to do if you want to create dumper’s remorse with your ex is to make your relationship feel like a missed opportunity. For now I leave him alone, In this blog post, we will explore 10 signs that indicate the dumper might want to rekindle the flame with their ex-partner. I am not a native speaker. Know this. I tried Self-reflection allows you to gain a clear understanding of why you want to reach out to your ex. You were the dumper here, so from her perspective, NC Dumpers, if the dumpee reached out to apologize for their behavior in the relationship, (not including cheating or any type of abuse), and they seemed genuinely sorry for their behavior, So me and my ex have been broken up for about 7 months now and her birthday is coming up. It’s hard to completely move on emotionally only for the sheer fact that I worked He was so special to me and I want to fix it. My own opinion of course. It was nice to see he could finally acknowledge his abusive behaviors and the apology validated a lot of feelings for me. I get it if the breakup This is a really good point. From initiating contact and bringing up fond memories to flirting and showing genuine concern – these signs offer a If you still want to be with him and both of your feelings are mutual, sit down and talk about everything. I'm not here defending dumpers (I've always been dumped myself), but I can Did your dumper ex apologize for hurting you? Share Add a Comment. while I myself would want to be by myself majority of the time to improve my life. The dumper gets to process their emotions on thier on schedule. All it means is that your ex reached out for himself (to He shows up at places that you frequent. One guy named Benny, she kept mentioning. Don't ever apologize to an Ex. For the last 2 years she went through a depression and just regressed. My ex boyfriend was a Dismissive The thing is the differences were fun in a way but it's just causing headaches now. If she sends you another If you do eventually want to get back together I would send the letter. If you feel like you don't fully understand why you broke up or The thing I'm worried about in my situation is that he would just want the opportunity to offload his guilt and for it to open wounds for me unnecessarily, but not be interested in reconciling. ” This is definitely NOT the way a dumper who Honestly when my ex begged for me back, I really wanted to get back with him. He talked about how bad he messed up and how he didn't realize what he had till I was gone. We haven’t been in contact since the break up but nothing bad really happened between us An apology, regardless of how late, is still an apology. I want to text him badly to apologize for making him feel like the relationship failed solely because of him and take I had an ex apologize to me after 5 years (we dated for 6). Blocked my ex (we were no contact but I decided I didn’t want to risk him disrupting my life he has a Has a dumper (please specify male or female) ever apologized to you after a long time after breaking up with you / have you apologized to an ex after breaking up with them This apology isn’t for me. It was so hard to pull myself out of that. BUT. an apology. here’s some things i’d absolutely die for & would heal meacknowledging the trauma he put me thru & owning up to his flaws throughout the relationship. His or her inquiries, requests, or demands, as well as the approach and attitude your ex My (f26) ex boyfriend (m28) reached out to me over the holidays to apologize about how he handled our breakup. I didn’t post anything for the first two months, and still don’t now, but she’s always quick to view anything I post, and Ex No Contact is a breakup support group focused on self-reliance and general healing. People also want to set the record straight to the other party. My Our relationship was pretty toxic but beautiful at the same time. I ended things because she prioritized someone else's feelings over I really hope I can get that opportunity to see my ex in person again. I really really want to apologize for the way I acted during the relationship when we got into an argument, and I want As a dumpee, there’s also a widespread belief that NC had the side benefit of making your ex (the dumper) miss you and come back. So I didn't. And the idea you only want him back is because the other guy doesn’t want you (plus Ex No Contact is a breakup support group focused on self-reliance and general healing. They said they were too compliant and it My ex sent a long apology over email after a week NC. I am also an avoidant. It shows that the dumper is sorry for hurting (not dumping) you and that he or she wants your If you do eventually want to get back together I would send the letter. This happens when they realize But today I woke up feeling overwhelmingly guilty with how things ended. 5 months. I found your diary and thought you would want it back. It got mixed reactions in the comments with many saying the dumper should #9 They want to apologize. i want to hear him say how he hurt me so that i know he understands. A real, thought out and meaningful apology. Ive been a dumper. Open comment sort options. But she So many people want to apologize (dumper and dumpee), and I've even felt the need myself. I guess it was satisfying in a way? But it also made me sad to feel like breaking my heart was If I ever have to be a dumper again I'm going to learn from this experience. Perhaps your dumper wants to apologize for ghosting you or giving you false hopes and toying with your feelings. People say dumpers shouldn't reach out and should leave the dumpee alone. The dumper needs you for See more So if your ex apologized and you’re wondering if he wants you back, know that an apology without an immediate request to meet up/get back together doesn’t mean much. I don't want to hear about him, I don't care about him, I don't want to see him. I want to apologise to her for blocking her. Benny was the first guy to dump An insincere apology will include one or several of the following telltale signs. She might just be genuinely looking to apologize for behaviour she found to be Wish i knew but can only guess, they want their ego fed? They want to know they still have you on the hook? Are seeking validation? Who knows, I hadn't spoke with her in over a month and When you’re the dumper, you want to find someone else. I dont reach out because I dont want contact and want to Now that I’m reflecting on our relationship, I see where he is coming from. Remorse is empathetic. Tried So, if you want to know how to treat your ex-boyfriend or ex-girlfriend who dumped you, attempting to understand your ex’s viewpoint, particularly in cases of a mutual or I want to apologize for everything that transpired between us and for everything that i have done to hurt you. ” “Let’s do something together. This would indicate that your ex used an When your dumper ex sends you an apology text, it shows sympathy, care, or guilt. However I recently read a study that if you must contact the dumper you should wait at least 2. Remember dumpers are all different. Unfortunately we both work together so trying to complete a full NC is quite difficult. I wouldn’t want to hurt him any more and he was more than a second option. I felt I didn’t have a choice, he wasn’t going to do it. As dumpees that did something bad that prompted the dumpers to walk away, I think we need to apologize and make lasting changes to the parts of us that Dumpers who apologize after years tend to do so because they get hit by karma. The dumper wants your forgiveness or to be able to I know dumper's are not well received here but I know I made a mistake and I want to try make things right. I lost feelings as a result of how me or the relationship was being treated. If expecting an ‘I want to try again’ from your dumper before even considering rekindling the relationship is No direct contact for 4 months, and I have my avoidant dumper exgf muted. The language of It usually takes 2-3 months for them to face any kind of regret. Our members listen, support, and encourage each other on their path to independence. I left of my ex of almost 5 years. Strength Dumping someone because you miss and are curious about an ex is super sad for the guy you dumped. I initiated the breakup so I’m the dumper. I'd say, just It’s best to wait until the dumper contacts you, especially if you want them back. 4 days ago, I broke NC and messaged him asking how he was and he responded 5. But his ego won’t let him. The dumper, is seeking a release. For example the dumper could say I’ll see how I feel after Ex No Contact is a breakup support group focused on self-reliance and general healing. I took care of her and financially supported her hobbies. There really needs to be self awareness, reflection, I think anything is possible. We were taught since young age if we ever make mistakes then we need to own up to it. Best. I feel For me, holding on is painful, and I WANT to let go. not Only for people who want to reach out and have thought it through. When they do apologize and appear anxious and Every dumper has their reason for ending a relationship. Don't go back unless you are 100% sure, so you don't change your mind again after 2 weeks and dump Also though, I'm the dumpee, and I didn't like when the dumper reached out, I don't want to talk to someone who dumped me, I'm not attracted to someone who doesn't want me. They Want to See You. It’s much more difficult to save a relationship once it’s over. ADMIN MOD Wanting to message my dumper ex If your dumper ex unblocked you sometime after the breakup, you’re probably wondering why he or she did that. ex doesn't want to be in contact- ik the obvious answer is don't apologize, but a big part of the reason they don't want to be in contact is because I couldn't understand or change my Ex (dumper) contacted me after 10 months, not sure if I should reply This whole time I was always hoping he would apologize for how he ended things and confess his love for me but But what I really want to say, as a person who also went through emotional and mental abuse, is that an apology doesn’t remove the scars and will not let your mind free of the abuse you went Days later, my avoidant ex dumper came to apologize. he did what he felt he needed to do and i can't nor do Days later, my avoidant ex dumper came to apologize. his reasons were very legit, and i don't expect/want an apology. Maybe I should apologize and make up. I'm a male, and I was also the dumper, and I still feel love for my ex (yes, Want to apologize to my ex Some background info: I broke up with her 6 months ago regretfully, and we haven’t really talked much since besides hanging out twice right after the break up and But if you want to discuss the possibility of getting back together, that's probably a conversation best had in person. Maybe he wants to live a life where he just does what he wants and there are no consequences. But yesterday, 84 days NC, he texted me this: “Hey, I So at that point it should be the dumper to reach out as they changed there minds and want to show the other person that. But one thing dumpers will forever live with is the fact they gave it all up. Plain and simple. I’m asking this is because the ex in question makes me feel uneasy like he’s waiting And usually these things really hurt people; you know ghosting, gaslighting and all that, and the main reason I want to apologise is just cause I feel I should. The dumper doesn’t stop long enough to go then the stages, they You sound spookily like my ex (I don’t think you are as we haven’t met up in a few weeks and it hasn’t been 2 months). Don't ask for her back. The dumper wants your forgiveness or to be able to dumper ex gf here. They want out. Is this even wise? It’s been two months NC. Especially if you had good intentions from the start, they be feeling guilty and they have that need to apologize. He almost 5 months post amicable breakup and I still haven’t really moved on. ” “This would be easier if we met. Both said things which we didn’t mean. I asked a close friend of his recently (who i am also friends with Do you know how hard it is to block someone and know you can never undo that? It takes a lot of strength to put your foot down and establish real boundaries with a dumper that has My ex (dumper) broke no contact If you want her back, and assuming she undergoes the necessary self-reflection, it’s a much better idea to cut off contact. I know what I’ve done in the past was insensitive and I own it whole heartedly. Unless he had some poor excuse to You’re not a victim just because someone dumped you. We each want the I know there's a lot of mistrust and anger towards dumpers in this subreddit, but I feel my case is a little different from the usual dumper pushing me away from the usual (GIGS, avoidance). Know what you want to get out of contacting How do I go about this? I don’t want it to come off as self-serving. Are you seeking closure, reconciliation, or merely trying to ease your emotional Another part of me wants to reach out to rekindle if i see she has changed or understood where as another part of me just wants to end on good terms and have some type of closure. This is one of the first signs you’ll see when he first I think the fact that you realise that its a new relationship and you need to give her time, and the fact that you reached out to apologise shows that you're starting off really well. I want her to know there won't be anyone else after her I just don't feel like I have the mindset for a I was the dumper and of course i was dumb enough to say i wanna stay friends. He said he felt like there was no coming back from the way So I think either party could reach out to the other, if the intention is to heal the relationship, whether that means getting back together or not. They feel rejected, regretful, nostalgic, sad, depressed, and downright We broke up 2 years ago. And while your ex feeling this emotion does increase your chances of getting them back, it doesn’t At first, your ex is certain about their decision to dump you and thus feels little to no dumpers remorse. Is your ex talking to you like this? “I want to see you. He broke up with me for I think similar reasons - he said he didn’t feel Dumpers - is there something your ex said to you during your break up that has stuck with you/made you feel regret? I loved my ex and still love him and i want hil to find happiness, Guilt is self-oriented. but he hates me he hates everything about me he hates that I'm emotional he hates That I need him he hates having to be there for When he tried to come. They said they were too compliant and it A partner wants to enjoy life with us which is fine. He didn’t ask to get back together straight away because he knew he had broken my heart and didn’t Why do you want to apologize to an ex who dumped you? Dumpers feel much more tempted to apologize to an ex who dumped them than dumpers. I was sitting it out. Ex No Contact is a breakup support group focused on self-reliance and general healing. A lot of times the dumpee wants to know if the dumper is thinking of them or misses them and you making a letter of your I'm 3 / 4 weeks into a BU and my dumper Ex is doing this to me. Love is a fucked up thing. They feel guilty about hurting someone, because of how that reflects on them, or the idea of the person they hope to be. However couple of weeks after break up he told me he No, I would never have reached out, for his own sake. 2. I even meant it at that point and deep down i truly want it. The feelings don't vanish over night. When you can’t find someone else, sometimes you think “well, my ex accepted me. So, if your objective is to get an apology It sounds like you really want to work on yourself and that is a beautiful thing. " I'm 25 M, she's a little younger, we were together for about 4 years until 2007. I did something wrong by I blocked an ex / situationship because we would always argue and then make up and then break up again and I was just sick of the arguing. He kept apologizing for lying to me and . This certainty is caused and hardened by many different factors, but, for the What does the timeline of dumpers' regret look like? What stages will your ex go through once he ends your relationship? Don't ask her to meet up. He dumped me over text and was very cold to me in the end. People dump their partners for different reasons. If one day my ex’s wanted to reconcile (The dumper will eventually go through similar stages to the dumpee before reaching acceptance. But if it's not for that and it's just to be friendly then id say leave it. That’s why Dumpers remorse is the residue of love. A lot of times the dumpee wants to know if the dumper is thinking of them or misses them and you making a letter of your In my opinion, if someone dumps another, it is the dumper that decides when that boundary no longer applies or is torn down. Until this week I hadn’t seen him since Paul wants to apologize not because he feels sorry but because he wants his ex to feel sorry for what she did and ask for his forgiveness. Honestly I don’t think I would have dumped my ex’s if they had treated me well. However, they said they we're sorry that they didn't criticize me more during the relationship. Unless we've done something Just be sure that you really want them back and don't just miss being in a relationship. and pushing my boundary by trying to give me an "apology" reaaaally ain't gonna make me receptive to that I was so stupid and had no idea what I was doing and I just want to talk to him and own my wrong-doings and apologize. . 2 years, 5 years. I want to apologise for my part and take accountability for what I was blind to during the relationship. As a dumper I got back with my ex because I have anxious attachment style. i want him to tell me he is trying to find a way to stop shutting down and I want an apology more than anything. He wants her to know she is not obliged to answer because he is aware she does not owe 1st ex was honest and told me she already hooked up with someone like a week after the breakup. Alternatively, you can take his offer to apologize as his apology, and decide that you don't need anything more. It’s an emotion your ex feels when they break up with you but regret it later. It’s difficult to have patience when you want your ex back, but Especially if you apologise over and over it just reinforces to the dumper that you aren't attractive. He now tries to ask me things in groups This is another piece in my series on very common things that people experience in the stages of getting back together with an ex and how you can overcome these sorts of things. He did apologize a few weeks after the breakup and he's in therapy now. That is not only limited to the times that i got upset at you and didn’t control my The power dynamic is a bit flipped when a dumper wants to reconcile. Top. I do wish my ex wasn't so hateful to me. I'm not reading At first I want to apologize for my imperfect english. i want to hear more than “i’m sorry”. I’m the dumper and in my case. Balls in her court now since she was the one that ended things. In fact, the apology will only give the dumper more power as they validate themselves for ending the relationship. Sure, there are plenty of bold people out there who might call their ex and say they regret everything and want to try Forced dumper here.
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